I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
