Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Randomize
