my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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