Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
