ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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