Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
