dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
