I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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