Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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