I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
