Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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