The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This is the high leading the old right now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
