Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
