would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
