Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
