Please, let me fuck your mom
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
