high people should be assigned attendants
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
