I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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