Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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