Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
