That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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