I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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