my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
