I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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