You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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