So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
