If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
