you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fuck appropriateness.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
