if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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