We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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