Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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