I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
