why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
