I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
