you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
