The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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