season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize