I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
