Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
