I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
