idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
