you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
should my penis look like a turkey
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
