He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
