was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
