Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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