Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
