i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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