Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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