He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
