you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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