YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
